By Marge Cieri

Over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that the foundation for true success is the ability to build trust with others. This applies whether at home, work, or where ever you are interacting with people. Just like the foundation on a building will have a huge impact on its ability to withstand horrible storms, a solid foundation of trust will help organizations and individuals weather the storms of changing times. It will also allow individuals to thrive in the tsunamis of conflict.

How does one go about building a trusting environment? It starts with you, the individual! In a Developing Trust Inventory published in The Pfeiffer Library Volume 4, 3rd Edition. Copyright © 2003 John Wiley & Sons, Inc., pages 389-398, the primary factors that contribute to a trusting environment are sharing, vulnerability, loyalty, accepting of others, involving others, valuing, awareness, communication, openness, and honesty. How do these behaviors build trust? Well, let’s take a look.

• Sharing. If we want people to tell us what is going on with them, we need to let them know about our experiences, trials, and tribulations. This is not about creating an open book about our life, it’s about picking and choosing what we are comfortable sharing. I remember one client who was new to management. She didn’t think it was important to share anything about her personal life with the people she managed. This worked for her on a personal level because she was a highly analytical and focused on work while at work. However, she was managing a group of folks who we high supporters and it was important for them to know their boss as a person, not just as the leader of the department. After some coaching, the manager started sharing a little about what she did over the weekend, how her children were doing on their sports teams, challenges she faced at various times during her career development, and what some of her goals were. Over time, the group started to” warm up” to their new boss. They could relate to her, and were able to work together as a team.

• Vulnerability. Again, we pick and choose what to tell others. How about a time when you felt insecure or unsure of yourself or about a situation? How did you handle it? How did you overcome it? Or did you overcome it? Let them know being vulnerable is part of the “human condition.”

• Loyalty. What are you loyal to? Is it a value, a company, a cause, or a person? Let people know they can count on you. They can “trust” that you will be there to watch their backs, coach them through the rough times, and celebrate their successes.

• Accepting of others. Our trust is measured by actions more than words. Listen to other’s ideas, let them challenge your thinking, learn with your folks.

• Involving Others. Ask people their opinions. Let them make decisions that affect them. You must, however, establish the ground rules for decision making. Let them know the parameters and boundaries. Give them all the information they need to make an informed decision.

• Valuing. I am a firm believer that every person I meet is a teacher for me in some way. Sometimes it is how not to be! More often, however, it is what to do or how best to approach a situation. Our company motto is; “Quality Doesn’t Just Happen…It Begins With People.” Value each person!

• Awareness. The first concept of Emotional Intelligence is Self-Awareness. Know yourself. Know your strengths and areas of improvement. Do, what I call, environmental scans several times a day. Look around you, pay attention to the non-verbal messages folks are projecting.

• Communication. I believe Listening is the key to effective communication. Most of us talk far too much and don’t take the time to listen to others. If you want to be an effective communicator, learn to listen.

• Openness and honesty. I’m all in favor of being open and honest but I also feel they come with an accountability factor. Being open and honest does not give any of us an excuse to attack another person. We have a responsibility to convey our openness and honesty in a way that the other person maintains his or her self-confidence or self-esteem.

Trust implies reliability, accountability, and predictability and is best never taken for granted! Practice the above and watch the magic happen!